My Mother Taught Me...

Perhaps it is the historian in me, but when looking ahead to a new year, I am inclined to temper my future plans with a measure of retrospection. This year, 2011, is so different from the world I remember as a child. Words that are common parlance now- Twitter, Facebook, 4G-Network, Kindle- were hardly on the conceivable horizon. Yet, ‘back then,’ my mother taught me many lessons, both profound and mundane, that I find especially useful and heartwarming in this digital, forward-thinking era. I would like to share a few of these with you now in the hopes that you might find her wisdom useful, and that you may take a moment to pause from the busy flurry of life.

Thank You’s 

E-mail was not at everyone’s eager fingertips when my mother taught me about Thank You cards. A thank you phone call, she said, was a good place to start, but it should not be seen as a replacement for a handwritten card. 

I remember composing my first Thank You’s under her watchful eye. Dear so-and-so, I wrote and then carefully began a new line- indented just so that the first letter of the sentence began below the ‘r’ in ‘Dear.’

-Always have a supply of notecards, stationary, and paper (homemade or store-bought), because you never know when you will need to write a Thank You or send a note of good cheer. 

-There is no gift too big or too small to merit a moment of time to write a Thank You. 

-When opening presents at Christmas, Birthdays, or other special occasions, keep a pen and paper handy to note who gave you each gift. This list will help you tailor your Thank You note to each individual.

(Emily Post’s Etipedia or even the recent NPR article have more specific guidelines for Thank You notes).

Clothing and Attire

I have always had my own style- some phases of which are distinctly better than others- from my first pair of pink cowboy boots with fringe and sparkles to my recent purchase of gray, suede heels. My mother was always rather tolerant of the ebbs and flows of my fashion savvy. She always told me to ‘be classy.’ By ‘classy,’ she meant ladylike (a loaded term these days). By ‘ladylike,’ she meant to tell me that my dress, habits, and actions will leave an impression on others. The person who has the most control over this impression is you, she was telling me.

It is also no coincidence that our habit of watching black-and-white classic movies led me to an early love affair with Audrey Hepburn and the styles of Jackie O. 

She also taught me to sew a button, make a button hole, hem a skirt or pair of pants, and mend a torn sleeve. Sometimes I let a tailor take care of the hemming, but I am thankful for being comfortable with a needle and thread in hand. ‘Sustainability,’ was not a buzzword when I was having my sewing lessons, but it is a concept she unknowingly taught. Creativity in mending, dressing, and life, is a lesson I draw from these memories.

The Kitchen

I was baking from scratch before I was tall enough to reach the counter without standing on a chair. The rules for baking were simple: I could bake what I pleased, but I was responsible for the cleanup. To my mother, ‘clean’ was not just that the kitchen looked clean, but that it felt clean. “Run your hand along the countertop,” she would say. “If it’s not smooth, it’s not clean.” Her words and tone were kind, and I know that she was also telling me to put my heart into what I undertake, from the beginning to the end. Clean until it sparkles and take pride in the freshly baked cookies and the shining countertops. 

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I could write on and on about the amazing and beautiful woman who was my mother, but I will stop for now. I appreciate her tangible and practical advice in a digital world where I run from work to class to home.

A toast to the New Year, to all things good and hopeful that are promised by the changing calendar. To big dreams, to daunting challenges, and to the pearls of wisdom we glean by listening carefully to those around us.